


Look for the boy with the broken smile (ask him if he wants to stay a while)

by imjaebooty



Category: GOT7
Genre: Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, Past Rape/Non-con, adding to this mess as i go, i just love jjp and i was feeling this vibe
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-13
Updated: 2016-04-24
Packaged: 2018-06-02 00:03:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6542236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imjaebooty/pseuds/imjaebooty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Title from 'She will be loved' by Maroon 5.</p><p>Maybe happiness isn't overrated. Maybe Jinyoung could get used to this feeling of overwhelming emotions he felt with Jaebum. Maybe they'd finally be allowed to get their own happy ending.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Jinyoung inspects his nails, noting that the black color on them was already chipping off. He glances around, throws his cigarette on the ground, then looks at his watch. 1:40 am. Today was a fail, again. He shakes off the white powder (coke most probably) that’s been on his elbow for a couple hours now. Just as he’s about to leave he bumps into something- no someone, and the stash he was supposed to sell falls out his pocket. He’s had a pretty frustrating day and that’s the last straw so Jinyoung turns around, ready to quite literally knock some sense into whoever touched him.  
‘Watch where you go punk’ he’s being irrational and he knows it. He could get beat up right here and calling the cops wouldn’t even be an option. But he’s sleep deprived for a couple days now, he’s completely broke and business is slow so he really doesn’t give a flying fuck whether some asshole throws him a punch, it’s happened before. Nothing he can’t handle. The eyes he meets when he finally looks up knock the breath out of him. They’re dark brown, small with a heavy outline of black kohl but they have a glint, a spark, something that mesmerizes Jinyoung. It feels like they’re staring into his soul, and he doesn’t like how naked and vulnerable they make him feel. He lets his eyes roam on the stranger’s sharp defined features, and he comes to the conclusion that he’s beholding the most beautiful face he’s ever seen. The man’s prominent cheekbones, the multiple piercings on his ears and the one on his right eyebrow make him seem so wild, so dangerous. Well anyone you’d encounter in this shitty neighborhood looks dangerous; especially since they're usually ready to lynch you, but he means it in the “throw me against a wall and fuck me till I can’t remember my name” kind of way.  
The man eyes him up and down, then smirks. ‘I’d be mad if you weren’t so cute. I’m Jaebum, what about you pretty face?’ Jinyoung doesn’t think he heard right. Pretty? He contemplates flirting back but his naturally defensive state is back, and ready to fuck up any chance of something good happening.  
He lets out a sigh of disbelief then ‘Move faggot’ is out of his mouth before he can stop himself; and he immediately regrets it when he sees Jaebum’s eyes darken. Fuck. He could have been a good lay too, why the fuck would he say that. What he really wasn’t ready for was the blow to the right side of his face, which he is sure will leave a bruise. Instinctively his arms come up to hide his face, but he puts them back down in a heartbeat. That shit is for the weak and that’s not how you survive in here. He shouldn’t look scared. He shouldn’t be scared. These people can smell fear and it won’t do him any good.  
‘You don’t want to do this now’ he tries to sounds menacing, but Jaebum just chuckles and Jinyoung feels so humiliated that he forgets that he doesn’t actually know how to fight. People just assume he does, but he’s just a dealer who sometimes fucks people for some extra cash. He does whatever he has to do to pay the bills but learning to defend himself isn’t one of them. He really regrets not taking that taekwondo class his father wanted to sign him up for. Maybe that was the one thing he should have actually dedicated time to. It would surely come in handy now. He is the kind of person people would call “all bark and no bite”, but in his defense he’d much rather use his brain to fool or ‘manipulate’ people call it nowadays to get out of a tricky situation.  
‘Why don’t we stop this here. I’ve had a pretty shitty night and you look like you’ve had a shitty couple of days.’ There’s a small voice at the back of Jinyoung’s head that corrects him. Shitty couple of years. But he’s back in his right mind, and he can make this an opportunity to maybe milk some cash out of this guy.  
‘Since I might be seeing you around some more, can I interest in some of our finest goods’ Jaebum laughs again. This time it sounds more genuine though.  
‘finest goods huh? What would that be?’  
He smirks, knowing he caught Jaebum’s interest. ‘I’ve got some coke, some ecstasy, heroin and weed. Some hybrid shit I don’t know the name of too but only if you’re willing to pay for them of course’  
‘Pay for it? After you almost beat me up?’ Jinyoung detects playfulness in the other’s tone, but the cold demeanor is still there somehow. He smiles slightly at the thought of being able to be able to hear his laugh, see his smile, maybe even be able to take down the obvious walls the older has built around him. He shakes those thoughts out of his head, now is not the time to fantasize about the man. Been there, done that never did him any good.  
‘I’ve got to make a living you know’ and he’s not kidding. This is his last chance; he needs somewhere to stay tonight.  
‘This is how you make a living, right? Selling drugs?’ there’s a bit of disbelief in Jaebum’s tone, and something else he can’t put his finger on. Jinyoung sighs. It would be impossible for Jaebum to disapprove. He himself looks like he is keen to unorthodox methods to make a living, but then again, Jinyoung shouldn’t judge someone by their appearance.  
‘Yes.’ His tone is cold again, he shouldn’t trust him so easily. Jaebum senses how Jinyoung tenses up and takes a step forward while Jinyoung takes one back.  
‘I’m just saying there are better places than here, if you actually want to make money. This place is a shit hole; why would you even sell here’ Jinyoung hates the expertise in Jaebum’s voice. he hates the fact that he can’t even seem to do one thing right.  
‘I wanted it to be a shit hole. Plus, I live here, and I don’t have a car. Seoul is a bit far by foot if you didn’t notice.’ 

‘Good thing I’ve got a motorcycle then’ Jaebum flashes him his first toothy grin and Jinyoung thinks he might be in love. 

And as cliché as it is, they ride in the night, the wind in their hair, bodies pressed close, and the adrenaline rushing in his veins is one he hasn’t felt in a long time, not even under all the shit he’s been injecting in his arm all these months. He holds on tighter to Jaebum’s waist and lets his chin rest on his back. His mother had always told him to never speak to strangers, let alone let them take you to another city on a motorbike, but Jinyoung had thrown away whatever his parents taught him at the same time when they decided to throw him out. So he focuses on the approaching lights that signaled them nearing Seoul and when Jaebum turns to look at him with his charming smile, Jinyoung thinks he could definitely get used to this.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was finished earlier than I though so enjoy~

They aimlessly walk around Seoul, while the sun starts to rise. Enjoying the looks, they get for their debauched attire and overly punk, dark makeup; sending each other knowing glances.  
‘Come on, I’ll show you a place’ Jaebum motions for him to turn into a dark alley.  
‘You’re not planning to murder me right, because I don’t have any money so it would be a waste’ he drones half-jokingly.  
‘Shut up and come with me’ he snappes. Jinyoung rolls his eyes dramatically but follows nonetheless. However, what's in the dark alley was not what he expected. It was full of young adults and teenagers, drunk or high, some sitting down with a needle in their arms, some shamelessly making out against a wall.  
‘Jaebum why would you bring us here’ he hisses, frowning.  
‘Don’t worry we’re safe, but this is the best place to sell your shit. I’m teaching you my ways, you ungrateful brat. You’ve got to go where the lamb lives if you want to catch it. You can’t wait for it to get to you.’ He says matter of factly. Jinyoung nods urging him to go on. ‘And then the most important part is to be attractive but I guess you’ve got that down’ and Jinyoung wants to punch the smirk off his face. But he settles for chuckling and sighing in fake annoyance.  
‘Is this it? Is that all the great Im Jaebum has got to teach me? I’m disappointed in you.’  
‘I’ve got some more to teach you, but I don’t think it’s suitable for public places.’ It takes a bit for Jinyoung to catch up with what he means and when he does, his stomach churns. When he meets Jaebum’s eyes they are hooded, but its quickly replaced with the spark they had when they met; defiant, rebellious but so gentle at the same time.  
‘Wouldn’t you like that.’ He smiles teasingly. He doesn’t realize they’ve been walking away from that alley, both of them wordlessly coming to terms with the fact that the whole drug matter was obviously just an excuse for Jinyoung to come with Jaebum. They end up in a comfortable silence, sitting in a park, hidden away by the trees. Jinyoung stands up from the uncomfortable position he’s been sitting in, and without second thoughts, re positions himself with his head in Jaebum’s lap. He looks up finding the older man staring down at him and he squirms under the unwavering gaze.  
‘A penny for your thoughts?’ he asks lazily.  
‘What’s your story?’ Jaebum sounds tired. As if life had squeezed the energy out of him. As if the will to go on, to make something out of life was no longer there because there’s nothing more for him to do. Or maybe Jinyoung is just projecting.  
‘Pretty cliché really.’ He laughs bitterly. He should be in some dramatic tv show, maybe then he’d be doing something productive. ‘It’s the story of a little preppy boy from a rich family who’d do anything to please his parents. He works day and night so he can get perfect marks, he makes sure to be involved in a lot of school activities and always is polite and helps the maids out at home to show gratitude. His parents love him dearly, at least his mother does. Or they love the idea of him, what he does more than his actual person. The part where it becomes funny though is when he realizes he’s a raging homosexual. That was really funny. He realizes everything he worked for is for nothing, because his parents will never be okay with that. He knows they won’t. He knows but one day he decides to bring the boy he’s been crushing on at home anyways. I mean his parents are on a business trip so nothing could possibly happen.’ Jinyoung chokes up, and he tries to blink the tears away. Saying it out loud makes it feel more real. Just because the tears subsided doesn’t mean the ache and the shame of rejection didn’t. He feels Jaebum’s hand in his hair and leans in the touch, taking a deep breath. ‘Then the boy’s crush finally catches on his interest and decides that he should act on it. So he kisses him and they end up making out. That’s all the boy wanted though, he just wanted to kiss, so when the other one starts to undo his pants he asks him to stop. But he never does. He doesn’t stop. So the boy screams, but the maids aren’t home because it’s spring break, and they have to go back to their home, take care of their own children. No one is home, but he screams anyways. And the guy forces himself on him. He’s 17 and he’s been raped. When he gets back at school everyone knows. Everyone is talking about it. He’s a slut and a faggot. He hates himself for thinking it was okay to be gay. He’s disgusting and he hates himself. So he decides to sleep around. Just with boys obviously because that’s all he is, a slut and a faggot.’ Jaebum frowns at that, but Jinyoung goes on. ‘Except one day, his parents come home early. And his father really isn’t happy. So he beats him up. “no son of ours would behave in such a sick, disgusting way” he says. And he hears his mother’s scream as his father hits him more. Then the boy is on the streets and he doesn’t know what to do. He’s 18 and homeless. So he sells his body because that’s all he’s good for right? He sells drugs when he gets them too, but the income isn’t that good as you know.’ Jinyoung laughs, but it sounds a bit hysterical.  
‘Real sob story.’ Jaebum’s silence urges him on. ‘anyways your turn to share. Bet you can’t beat my level of pathetic.’ The older man looks into his eyes and Jinyoung holds his breath, still surprised at how painfully beautiful his features are. So sharp, yet so smooth.  
‘Nothing too interesting. Poor family, with crippling debts. Alcoholic parents, abusive too; well my dad. The boy watches him kill his mother when he’s 8. His dad goes to jail and the boy and his sister end up in different orphanages. I guess I inherited some of my dad’s anger issues and got into trouble too much. Ended up in juvy a couple times, really rounded me up. First time was a nightmare. I saw the kids hang a guy. But I guess I liked getting in trouble, it made me feel like I was rebelling; or getting some sort of revenge. The orphanage got tired of me I guess and threw me out. I went looking for my sisters like a hero, then got caught up in some gang shit with some friends I made in jail. They’re all dead now and I’m still looking for my sisters, so you could say I failed.’ Jaebum stops as if to recollect his thoughts.  
Jinyoung breaks the silence ‘I guess the moral of our stories is don’t do drugs kids.’  
‘yeah’ he breathes.  
As if sensing Jaebum's thoughts lingering on the negative, Jinyoung stands up with over exaggerated groans and sticks his hand out to Jaebum  
‘come on, we’re going for a drive’ flashing him a toothy grin as his eyes crinkle up in half crescent moons, and Jaebum swears his heart doesn’t skip a beat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So i made Jinyoung and Jaebum open up a bit! the next chapter will be up soon, i just need to finish it properly. Go follow me on tumblr @imjaebooty for updates, or for any questions.


	3. Chapter 3

They end up on a roof this time after wandering some more through the already animated city even though it’s only 4 am. They’re sitting on the side of the 15 story tall building; their legs hanging in the emptiness. They both seem to enjoy these situations, the only moments when they feel alive, the time where only lost souls like them are roaming in the streets. Feeling their blood thrum in their veins, hearing their loud heartbeat in their ears, hands shaking from adrenaline. They’re creatures of the night, both desperate for something and together they now thrive. Wordlessly, they communicate. It all feels so natural; too natural. Jaebum links their hand and Jinyoung grips it harder, as if his life depended on it. They stay in silence, until Jaebum speaks up. ‘want some?’   
Jinyoung looks down to the outstretched hand in front of him. he considers refusing but finally he takes the joint and brings it to his lip. He feels the familiar burn that comes with the dense air entering his lungs. He finds Jaebum staring again with his piercing gaze. This time it doesn’t make him uncomfortable though, he almost enjoys the older man’s undivided attention. the drug finally starts to take effect and he sees the corners of his vision get foggy. He somehow ends up on Jaebum’s lap again, almost making him lose his balance and killing them both in the process. After Jinyoung starts to climb on him, craving more contact, Jaebum takes him in his arms effortlessly and gets them off the brink of the morbidly tall building.   
‘Come on, let’s get you to my flat.’ But shows no intention of moving, feeling safe under Jinyoung’s body as he looks at the starry sky. Jaebum scoffs at how cliché this is but a feeling of warmth spread in his chest nonetheless.   
‘not even a date first? I knew you only wanted me for my body Jaebum you can’t fool me!’ he teases.   
‘Shh we’re going to get arrested by the cops if you act like this’  
‘I’m tired.’ He croaks.  
‘I know’ is all Jaebum says, but it means much more. He knows. And that’s all the reassurance Jinyoung needs to finally fall into a deep slumber. Jaebum observes Jinyoung’s sleeping features, mesmerized until his eyes burn and he falls asleep, vulnerable to the monsters that haunt his dreams. When they wake up they both regret falling asleep on the hard cement but one look has them in hysterical laughter, forgetting all about the searing pain in their backs. Behind his smile, all Jaebum can think about is his nightmare free night. He spaces out trying to take in the fact that he had a normal night of sleep for the first time in 9 years. Jinyoung snaps him out of it urging him to get up so they can go eat. Hand in Hand they walk around Seoul some more, as close as they can, whispering nonsense in each other’s ears. Completely immune to the obvious judgment people show them seeing two boys strutting around holding hands.   
‘I’m hungry’ Jinyoung whines, the loud gurgling sounds his stomach backing him up. They had forgotten they were humans who needed substantial nutrients to live.   
‘Wanna go to my place’ Jaebum offers lazily.   
‘I’ll go anywhere as long as it’s got food, and some alcohol wouldn’t be unwelcome.’ Jaebum chuckles throatily, taking Jinyoung’s hand once again.   
‘Alright, we’re not too far princess’  
Jinyoung can't help but squeeze the older man’s hand at the pet name, bizarrely content.   
When they finally arrive in what feels like ages, Jaebum unlocks the door with a keyset that had jiggling little Hello Kitties hanging from it and Jinyoung can’t help but start laughing. He couldn’t believe the wild, bulky Jaebum with tattoos all over his arms and a stare that could make a grown man cry within seconds had Hello Kitty on his keys. Not catching on, Jaebum turns around, looking at him quizzically.   
‘I’m sorry but your keys, it’s such a contrast to… you?’ Said out loud it sounded pretty stupid for Jinyoung to be laughing at such a small thing. He stared at him for a moment then sadness flashed over his face. ‘That was what I wanted to give to my younger sister for her 8th birthday, but as you know, it didn’t really work out that way.’ He explains bitterly.   
Jinyoung felt regret for laughing, his mischief completely dissipating in place of guilt. ‘I’m sorry’   
Jaebum’s eyes softened and he nodded. ‘It’s alright, are you going to come in or do you need to be invited in?’ He teases, mimicking having fangs. Jinyoung scoffs and scuffles clumsily in.   
‘where do I-’ He gasps as goes in, seeing the chaos Jaebum’s apartment was. He trips on a bottle, letting out a cry of horror at the sight of a broken vase on the floor.   
‘What happened in here?!’ He shrieks.   
Jaebum shrugged ‘got a bit wild one night I guess’   
‘By wild do you mean you had a crazy party and fucked on every surface, or you decided to bring people here to beat them up’ his tone was playful, being able to imagine Jaebum luring his enemies here to fight them one by one.  
The older man sighed ‘So are we going to eat or did you come here to insult me in my own house.’  
‘Aw did I offend you’ he coos in an overly sweet voice. Jaebum cocks an eyebrow then disappears in what Jinyoung assumes must be the kitchen. The disorder around him starting to irritate him, he decides to make himself useful and clean up some to at least make it seem like it’s a human living here and not a fox.   
‘I can’t believe your dust mop is dirtier than your floor which is pretty gross by the way’ he declares loud enough for Jaebum to hear, getting a humming sound back. After some backbreaking dusting and picking up whatever trash or broken glass was on the floor, Jinyoung allows himself to go peak in the other room and see what the older is preparing, hoping that he knows what he is doing and isn’t going to poison them both. What he sees takes his breath away and his mouth falls in an ‘O’ shape. Jaebum is hunched over the stove, overly concentrated on the food cooking on the fire. His hair is brushed back, and he has taken off his black jumper blessing Jinyoung with the sight of his sculpted arms decorated with black ink. He wants to ask Jaebum what the tattoos mean, why he got them; he wants to solve the mystery that the older man is. He knows he is much more than a messed up kid who’s been jail and went wrong. He understands Jaebum and he knows Jaebum understands him, and it shouldn’t be so easy except it is and Jinyoung feels like this is all a dream. It’s been too long since he’s felt the warmth that comes with care and love, or any proper human contact for that matter. He stays to appreciate Jaebum’s backside some more, letting his eyes wander over his body, but reluctantly leaves when his pants start to feel too tight. He hastily leaves the kitchen, making sure to make no noise. He doesn’t notice the smirk plastered on Jaebum’s face as the older man shakes his head, as if he just witnessed his rebellious teenager sneaking out. Jinyoung lets himself fall back on the couch, frustrated, and drags his palms over his eyes, willing himself to get a grip. He can’t do this. This is getting out of hand, he isn’t supposed to become attached to anyone. Not letting Jinyoung marinate in his thoughts Jaebum pops his head in the living room.  
‘Food is ready princess’ he announces and Jinyoung lets himself forget that he shouldn’t be here. Everyone deserves a break from time to time and this will be his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, tell me your thoughts and leave a kudo if you like it! follow me on tumblr @imjaebooty for updates or any comments (if you don't have an ao3 account).

**Author's Note:**

> Hi~ This is my first time posting here (or anywhere tbh), and my first time actually writing fanfic so I'm sorry if this was crappy but we all gotta start somewhere! I'll be updating this often as I've got the next chapters written but i need to do some last checkups.  
> I'm forgetful af so go scream at me on tumblr (@imjaebooty)


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